It's about midnight and I'm still online. Tired but cannot sleep. I'm tired from such a long, and gradually depressing day. Started off with English MYE. I have no comments about that. Then stayed back for CCA. Today's practice was rather eventful. For the first time in our short history, we prayed for the syf. Kind of forced Ariela to be the first. Pearlyn and I are on the next rotation cycle. 4 hours of CCA and an hour of normal violin practice at home is an overdose of violining.

I don't know if we're improving. From the recording, we aren't. That's making me tired + angry + frustrated + annoyed+ blah. Each recording just makes my ears, head and heart ache more. Other schools are already focusing on moving/visual impact and we're still trying to solve intonation problems. I don't want the CCA to be the only one in school that gets a bronze/copper with honours. Listening to recordings the past hour is making me panick badly. I have a long mental list on what I have to correct for sectionals tomorrow (later) and I'm worried there isn't going to be enough time. Talk about my intended section-bonding time.

My head feels weird and there's this slight intention of giving up on people who don't seem serious. But then, who am I to judge them. Not like I'm some pro. The only thing I'm going to be able to do is to help as much as I can. And trust God, which suddenly seems harder than before.

Sorry for this rant-like post. I'm getting tired but I have to try to survive till SYF and MYEs are over. Just realised this week has been quite demoralising.

Never give up, even when things are looking hopeless. Quite hard to live by.